It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's Super Christian

I have never really had aspirations of being a super Christian. Early on, I was painfully aware of my sinful, prideful self. So, needless to say super Christian status was not to be for me. However, I did hope that after becoming a missionary, certain things would just be easier. You know in the Bible where it talks about forgiveness. I like it when it means others have to forgive me when I have made mistakes or even worse hurt them. The other way around is a different story. Despite the reality of how much Christ has forgiven me, I still struggle with forgiveness. I want justice. I want wrongs to be righted. In no way, do I want to forgive someone without them asking for it. I want them to be sorry. I definitely do not want to forgive if they think they have done nothing wrong. Isn't great to see this Christ like attitude in a missionary!

As is the case in all of our lives, I have been hurt by others. Some times I just say it is no big deal and sweep it under the proverbial carpet. Which, as I am sure you will agree, does not actually work. No matter how far you sweep it under the carpet, you still see it again. I am not sure if the carpet shrinks with time or "my junk" just grows. Bottom line, minimizing things is not dealing with them and is not forgiveness because the next something happens every thing gets brought back up again.

While struggling with hurt and forgiveness, I realized my pride, my arrogance, self-righteousness, lack of humility and all sorts of other really fun sins that tend to rear their ugly head. The moment that I realized the ugliness of my own sin in all of this was very humbling. I am so thankful that despite all of my sin, God is still faithful. God is still good. He knew all of that and still loved me and waited and was tender and patient with me. More than ever, I am aware of how much I do not deserve God's grace and mercy.

After realizing all of that, God just seemed to be kneading my heart and preparing me to truly forgive. Now, those issues are done and gone, never to be brought up again. How amazing that the most freeing thing in the world is to forgive someone else.