Slamming on the Brakes

Over the years, I have slammed on my brakes for various reasons. You know when you feel like the light goes straight from green to red and you never actually see the yellow or when someone stops in front of you quickly or pulls out in front of you. well, yesterday I added a whole new category of reasons to slam on the brakes. As we were driving out to one of the villages, we had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting a GIRAFFE! Yes, I am serious. Right there in the middle of the road just staring at us as if to say what are you doing on my road was a giraffe. We stopped within a foot of him and I could even see his big beautiful eyelashes. On both sides of the road were other giraffe just staring at us calmly probably wondering what kind of animal we are. Even a little baby giraffe came up to see what was going on. Can you believe it! I LIVE IN AFRICA!!! How insane! How amazing!

Shagala Bagala

If ever there was a phrase to describe my life, this is it. It is in swahili and means everything is crazy and scattered. I think that I thought that the craziness would stay in America when I came here, little did I know that it would follow me across the ocean. I envy those of you that live your lives in a permanent state of peace and calm. =)

But I digress, the real reason for this post is to update you on swahili and ask for your prayers. My language is coming along well, sometimes not as fast I would like. At times I feel like I have learned so much, at others I feel frustrated that I am not able to converse with ease.

So,.... this is my prayer: I am praying that I would be able to converse with ease by Christmas. I know many of you have already been praying for me. ASANTE SANA (THANK YOU) na endelea tafadhali! (and please continue)

Love you all!

Oh no, What have I done!

Do you ever have those moments, you know where you realize what you have committed to and you feel completely incapable? You think, oh no what have I done? What was I thinking? I just finished a two day workshop for all of the teachers from the schools that I work with at Imara. As we began on Thursday morning and I saw all of the faces of the teachers staring at me in expectation, my stomach bottomed out and I got scared. They traveled so far and gave up time with their families to come here. I asked if it would be a good idea before but it is in the culture here to tell you want they think you want to here out of respect but it might not be what they want. I thought what if this really is not what they want, what if it is not applicable to them? What if I am just bringing my mzungu (white person) ways and not doing something that is appropriate for them. ARGH! What was I thinking? Is it too late to run away?

One of the project managers from Imara led them in a devotional time to start our time. He said that Meagan probably does not know exactly why she brought you all here, but I know it is from God and exactly what everyone needs. All the teachers agreed. Whew!

We had a time for a lot of discussion, to hear from them to get their ideas, input, hear the challenges they face. They were given time to discuss things together, to hear from each other and to learn from each other. My desire is to create a community amongst all the Imara schools and teachers. We did lots of team building activities and activities for them to get to know each other better. After we heard about the challenges they faced, we gave them time to try and come up with solutions in small groups and then share corporately. WOW! They had wonderful ideas and everyone participated. I was blown away.

On Friday, we had a time where each school could share prayer requests and then we would all pray for them. Can you imagine dealing with the district commissioner campaigning against you? Can you imagine having people you thought you could trust turn against you because they are not getting money on the sly? Can you imagine teaching children that walk hours to get to school without food? Can you imagine dealing with weather issues when they walk so far? Can you imagine dealing with parents who are apathetic about the need for education or even resistant? This is just the tip of the iceberg. WOW! What a powerful time of prayer as we lifted them up. I hope the teachers felt encouraged and cared for. I told them that I wanted them to know that they are not in this alone.

Each day, we also did some practical training. We did math training mostly and classroom management. They are given a lot of material but have no idea how to use it all. We gave them supplies and had them make teaching materials and then taught them how to use it in depth and had them use it themselves so that they could easily take it back to their classrooms.

At the end of the time, I told them to speak freely because I did not want to do this again if it was not beneficial. They have to give up a lot to come and I would only do it if it will help them. They all quickly responded with YES!!! They were so enthusiastic and thankful. We had such a wonderful time. We finished with singing praise and worhsip together, African style!!

I guess the moral of the story is: I did not know what I was doing, but God did....

Refugee Status

I have achieved refugee status here in Tanzania. Yes, it's true. Crazy but true! As you have probably already read, there have been a few water issues in my home. So, now we sleep in one place that does not have running water because it needs the electricity from the house that was flooded. So we use the bathroom in another home. We shower all over. We eat at another home and do work in another place. All that to say they now call us refugees. =)

What is interesting is that I have begun to teach once a week to a group of pastors at the pastors college here where I teach at the teachers college part time. One of the men from my group is from the Sudan. I do not know his story yet but I can only imagine since there are so many refugees from there. People's lives here are so different.

Little side note: Tomorrow and Friday, I am having the first ever teachers conference/workshop for all of the Imara teachers from the villages. I hope that this will be a spiritually encouraging time for them as well as an equipping time for them. I want them to have a deeper understanding of what they are a part of in transforming their communities. Please pray! Thanks!

Shhh... Don't Tell My Mom

She would totally freak out if she saw what I have been driving in. Just so you know that most of the roads here are dirt roads and dirt plus a lot of rain means a whole lot of mud! =) Yesterday morning when I drove I do not think I went above five miles an hours. People would zoom aroune me but not too long after I would see their car stuck in the mud along the side of the road. I even learned that you can actually drive horizontally and fishtailing can be quite fun.

Home is where the roof is

So, have you ever had one of those days where you think that all that has happened is just plain ridiculous. You know that moment where think nothing more can happen and then looking back you realized that was just the beginning. Oh where to start.... If I had to guess, God is trying to get it through my very thick skull that this is not my home and that heaven is. You know that verse from Hebrews that says we are citizens of heaven. Other verses such as resting in Him seem to be of most importance lately. At one point this summer (or winter depending which side of the equator you are on) I realized that I had stayed in one place for more than three days. Eventually I was able to say in a home with a wonderful family for about three weeks. Then, I was back at Joshua for a few days and then off to Karansi with a team for about a week and a half. When I finally returned to Joshua, I was so happy to realize that I could settle in somewhere. Well....

The roof to the house that I was staying in needed to be replaced so we needed to move to the tent. The tent has beds in it and is attached to a bathroom so it is not quite like camping at home. There is a thatched roof over the tent to help protect us. We had to pack up everything and put it under plastic sheeting on the bottom floor of the house. It is the dry season, but what if.... I went to Magugu this past week and when I returned home, I discovered that the roof over our tent was now gone. I could not help but laugh.

So, now is when the real fun begins. Yesterday morning as I was working at the Imara office, I felt an earthquake. It was the most significant one I have felt. Then, I look at the window and I see rain. Oh no, the tent has holes.... The rain is not too heavy but we realized that if it rains more all will not be well. We have the base manager put duct tape on the holes. Duct tape isn't actually water proof. So last night, we go out to town and come back to a pretty heavy downpour. We need to call for help because our house is raining on the inside. I go to call and ... the phones are down. So, I walk up to his house. As I am telling him about everything, ...the power goes off. We do not have enough buckets for all the holes. There is plastic sheeting on the ceiling of the bottom floor but it is about to burst because of the rain. Our beds are wet inside the tent (even my pajamas). We have no idea where anything is because we have had to throw everything everywhere to protect it. We sleep in someone else's home. The rain continues to increase in intensity and we go back to empty buckets and see what else we can do to control the damage. At the moment, my roomates and I just laugh. What else can you do.... When we return to the house where we are staying, their cat left a nice little dead mouse at the door for us. I think that was his way of offering us a sympathy gift.

Plus... I move again next week to another part of town.

All I want to know is does this earn me an Africa merit badge???

Please pray

So.... not at my best right now. I am fighting some sort of stomach, icky thing. But I learned a new treatment, charcoal. No I am not joking that is not a misspelling, charcoal. That's right the stuff you use to grill hamburgers actually also has medicinal purposes. Who knew! I cannot seem to beat this and I have been sick since Saturday. I am supposed to travel tomorrow and I need to be better. I want to go but I wish I could get there by staying in bed..... I would greatly appreciate your prayers!!
Love you all!

The hard way

If you ask my parents, they will gladly tell you that I struggle with being a teeny bit stubborn and slightly hard headed. Okay maybe, a little more than that but hey we all can't be perfect right. I have this horrible tendency to learn things the hard way. I don't know why. I wish I was better at listening and trusting. Maybe one day..... Anyway, one thing I am learning is that you can have two extreme emotions at the same time. As I was preparing to leave America and cross the ocean to the wondrous place known as Africa. I was so excited about the adventure that laid ahead but grieving the loss of home. My feelings of sadness for leaving my friends and family were at times overwhelming. Even though I still struggle with missing home, I am amazed at how much God has provided. The people here have been wonderful. Despite being here for only two months, the relationships that I have developed have been so good. Sometimes, I think that when you leave one place that God stays there. I know that isn't true but that is how I feel sometimes. I have actually learned that I don't like change. I grew up with so much change, moving every couple of years and sometime every couple of months. So, I assumed that I do like things different that I like change. Not true. I actually like routine and like to get settled and build deep quality relationships. All that to say, I moving again soon. Yowsers! I just recently moved from the house that I am staying in into a tent because the had to be repaired and actually is completely off (no joke). But, now, I am moving to another part of town with different people. The people that I will be living with are wonderful, espcially Julia, I can't wait. But several things are up in there and I love the girls that I live with now. I don't want things to change. Once again I am afraid that life is good here and God provided here but He won't be at my new home. I still don't trust. I can be so hard-headed sometimes and a slow learner. ARGH! How do you make your heart listen to your head?

Just my luck

You know those days when nothing seems to go your way and then the opposite extreme of everything coming together with unbelievable ease as though your life is an orchestrated symphony. Is it luck or is it God? I think that I can be quite inconsistent. Sometimes I say one thing, but really believe another. This is what I know for sure God is sovereign and God is control. God is always working in my life. I usually have no idea what He is up to and sometimes I do not even bother to pay attention to what He is doing because I get so self consumed. Yesterday, by the grace of God, I was able to see Him pull so many things together. Yesterday morning I went to Mt. Meru university to interview possible teachers for our schools. I was not sure where to go or how to find the person I was supposed to meet (for the first time). As I got out of my car, he and two others happened to be walking by! After the interviews, we went to the hopsital to see Samuel. I was not sure if he was still in the hospital. When we arrived, we learned that he was about to be released. I was able to give him and his aunt a ride home so they would not have to walk several kilometers and take many buses. As we were waiting, I happened to run into several people in this small hospital in the middle of nowhere. I ran into people from Imara and a teacher from one of the schools whose son needs to have surgery on his arm. My phone died and I could not contact the people I was supposed to meet afterwards. I was so worried that they would be waiting for me. As I pulled up our meeting spot, they pulled in right beside me. I was taking this Australian couple to Mwika, one of the villages. I was not sure how to get there and beginning to get worried that I was going the wrong way. Right when, I got the most scared, a giant sign (which is rare in these parts) appeared telling me which way to go . CRAZY! So many things came together. God was definitely at work but then He always is. I am thankful that I do not have to ask Him to work. Whew!

The second part of the trip was our adventure in trying to get up into the village. We had a torrential downpour last night, or mvua kubwa in Kiswahili, and the roads became MUD! We tried two times to make it up into the village but we were unsuccessful. We sloshed around and swerved, skidded, jumped, and everything else in our driver's valiant effort to get us up this mountain but to no avail. But it worked out better, because we were able to discuss and talk about some big plans in this village and how we can help the community.

Kiwis are not just a fruit

I knew that I would learn a lot during my time here but I was not expecting to learn more about kiwis, Perth, and Wales. What am I talking about? Good question. I am at Joshua Teachers training college right now and the people I work with are from all over. One of my roomates is from England. You may have already known this but I did not. The United Kingdom is made up of Scotland, England, Northern Ireland, and Wales. Great Britian is made up of Scotland, England, and Wales. I thought that was interesting. People from New Zealand are called Kiwis because the Kiwi is a very famous and rare, beautiful bird that is native to that island. Did you know that there were no animals on New Zealand except birds? They were all introduced. Did you know that Australia is so big that it takes six hours by plane to get to Sydney from Perth? That is longer than it takes from Atlanta to LA. Crazy! My other roommate is from Australia. Why the history lesson? Well, just to prepare you so that when I return if I use words like heaps, jandals, jumpers (not sweatshirts), and Good on you that you will know why. =) Also, to simply say thank you for all your prayers. I was so scared that I would not find community when I left America. The community I had there was so rich and good and I was afraid of being alone. Despite their accent and different words for various things, the people here have been such a blessing. We have such wonderful community. God is so good and so faithful. I am amazed at how quickly I have bonded with my roommates. We have a blast together! As I go out into the villages and work, it is so good to have them to come home to.

The ants go marching one by one

We have affectionately referred to my blunders as rookie mistakes. These missteps have become quite numerous. My first night here I ate a cooking banana, icky! I did not bring a blanket with me when I traveled to one of the villages and I was a bit chilly. Packed some of the wrong types of clothes. Paid three times the amount for yoguort. I know there are more but I am having a hard time remembering them, I think that I have blocked them out. The latest in my series of blunders is giving an open invitation for a giant party in my room to all of the ants in the area. One of my favorite candies is Jolly Rancher and the last team were gracious and brought some along for me. I was thrilled! The first few that I had were quite yummy. But Jesus does tell us to share, so now about 3 million ants (oh how I wish that I was exagerrating) have been able to partake of the sweet goodness of those delectable treats. Sadness. Total rookie mistake!

Strength vs. weakness

If you want God to put a giant magnifying glass on all your weaknesses, then I recommend going to another country for an extended period of time. I prefer keeping up pretenses and having people think that I have my act together and that I can handle anything thrown my way. =) God says that "My power is perfected in your weakness." In the safety of my life in America, I don't think that I saw that all that often. Right now I feel a little exposed. I am learning a lot about my fears. I am afraid of being a failure. I am afraid of disappointing others. I am afraid of people thinking that I am not good enough. I am afraid of being weak. I am afraid of not being the strong one. I am afraid of being alone. I am afraid of being ordinary. I am afraid of my life not making an impact. These are just a few of them. I think that I might have lived my life in such a way as to avoid having to face those fears. Now, I have come face to face with those ugly monsters that have haunted me. Yesterday, I just broke down and cried and cried like I have not cried in a long time. I am still in process but I am definitely learning a lot. I have heard a million times that my worth is not based on my performance but on who I am in Christ. In all honesty, I don't think I really believed it. I am starting to. God is Love and His love is infinite, deep, powerful, and REAL! It really is real. He is real. He is not just some bed time story that we tell ourselves to make us feel warm and fuzzy. He is not something that we created to make life easier. God is the Creator of the universe. He created me. I am his workmanship. I belong to Him. He delights in me. I have heard all of this before but it is all starting to penetrate a little bit more. God's grace is sufficient. I think I just need to be reminding of God's truth over and over. It is not only okay to be weak and broken before the Lord but that is how He prefers it.

Never the same again

Today was one of those days. You know those days that you have in your life when you know that you will never be the same again; where your perspective changes and you look at the world with a different eye. Throughout my short time here, there have been surreal moments where I feel like I am in a National Geographic magazine. The images and photographs from that magazine are forever imprinted in my memory and it is amazing that those are the people that I pass on the streets, in the villages, or even as I learned today in the hospital.

I think that I told you all about my friend Samueli. He is the wonderful boy that I built a friendship with while living with a missionary family. We had so much fun together playing cards, making faces, playing other games, and just being silly together. What is unique about this friendship for me is that he has stage three AIDS. The family has poured thier lives into this boy and has seen remarkable improvement. The power of love is so clearly evident in his life. While I was staying with him, he contracted malaria and we had to go to the clinic. He was getting better but the healing process is slow because of his immune system. I have not seem him in a while because I have moved farther away. I just recently found out that he has been in the hospital for a little over a week. I went today to visit him. Even though I traveled through some slum type areas to get to the hospital, the hospital was nice.

When I walked into his room that he shares with three others, I was immediately taken aback by how much weight he had lost and the change of the shape of his face. However, when we made eye contact, this huge smile engulfed his face and I just went over and hugged him. How can you be okay with someone dying that you love? I think I am learning that when we hurt we understand in an even deeper way that God is a God of love. God is there for me and He has not abandoned Samuel. He is always there. He never leaves nor forsakes us. Then, Samuel scooted over so that I could sit next to him on his bed and visit. We laughed and talked in broken Swahilingish. He is doing better. As I sat on his bed, I looked around to the other children and saw the suffering and anguish on their faces and tears sprung into my eyes. That is when I knew that I was never going to be the same again. How can I? All I wanted to do was hold each child and love them. How can you see that kind of suffering and not want to be a part of changing it? This is why I work with schools and communities and child sponsorship.

Living in Africa

Did you know that I am not actually here on holiday, that I am living here in Africa? I am sure you knew but I am always a little slow. I think that in the beginning I was star struck by the wonders of Africa and the warmness of the people. Those things still exist but I am starting to process what it means to really live here. I can't go home for the weekend to see my family. I can't go camping with my brothers and hug my cute nieces. I can't go for a bike ride with my dad. My mom can't bring my some blue cheesed stuffed olives. I can't go and hang out with my friends. The new school year is starting soon and I won't be there. I love life here but I think I am processing right now that I can't actually live in both places. I know that I am exactly where God wants me to be but I am just a little sad. I know God is good. I know He is faithful and will meet all my needs. He is sufficient and gentle and powerful. He is a God of comfort and of love. I "know" all of that but to actually have to depend on Him to provide all that without the comforts of home is a little scary. I don't know why because I have seen Him provide so much for me. I am not sure why I don't actually believe Him and trust Him fully. Bottom line, I am homesick. I know this will pass but for right now that is where I am at. So, anybody want to come visit???? Hint hint nudge nudge =)