The hard way

If you ask my parents, they will gladly tell you that I struggle with being a teeny bit stubborn and slightly hard headed. Okay maybe, a little more than that but hey we all can't be perfect right. I have this horrible tendency to learn things the hard way. I don't know why. I wish I was better at listening and trusting. Maybe one day..... Anyway, one thing I am learning is that you can have two extreme emotions at the same time. As I was preparing to leave America and cross the ocean to the wondrous place known as Africa. I was so excited about the adventure that laid ahead but grieving the loss of home. My feelings of sadness for leaving my friends and family were at times overwhelming. Even though I still struggle with missing home, I am amazed at how much God has provided. The people here have been wonderful. Despite being here for only two months, the relationships that I have developed have been so good. Sometimes, I think that when you leave one place that God stays there. I know that isn't true but that is how I feel sometimes. I have actually learned that I don't like change. I grew up with so much change, moving every couple of years and sometime every couple of months. So, I assumed that I do like things different that I like change. Not true. I actually like routine and like to get settled and build deep quality relationships. All that to say, I moving again soon. Yowsers! I just recently moved from the house that I am staying in into a tent because the had to be repaired and actually is completely off (no joke). But, now, I am moving to another part of town with different people. The people that I will be living with are wonderful, espcially Julia, I can't wait. But several things are up in there and I love the girls that I live with now. I don't want things to change. Once again I am afraid that life is good here and God provided here but He won't be at my new home. I still don't trust. I can be so hard-headed sometimes and a slow learner. ARGH! How do you make your heart listen to your head?