Spiritual Giants

Have you read the biographies of Hudson Taylor, Jim Elliot, and many others? WOW! Aren't they inspiring? I am so encouraged by their faith and their dedication to prayer. So much of what you read includes their commitment to pray for their ministry and all the people that they come in contact with. I remember reading about Hudson Taylor and how he would wake up at 4am and read his Bible by candlelight under his mosquito net before anyone else got up.

As you can imagine, not the case with me. This morning when I realized that it was time to get up, I rolled over and reached for my Bible from my bookshelf thankful that I did not have to get out from underneath the covers and then simply placed it down right next to me on my bed, hoping that some of God's truth I could absorb through osmosis as I got fifteen more minutes of sleep. Eventually, I did wake up and read a little. =)

Last night, as I was sitting at home processing through my day and all the things that are going on. Do you know what I prayed for? For Hudson it might have been the health of a Chinese man he worked with, for Jim Elliot the unreached people group that he was desperately trying to reach with the gospel, for me.... a hot shower. By this point, you would think that I would have a greater perspective, but that was all I really wanted and that was what my prayer. In the morning, there was power but no water and when I returned home there was water but no power.

So, here is the bottom line. The others Spiritual Giants, me just a Spiritual microscopic organism. (Once a tech nerd, always a tech nerd) However, isn't it amazing to know exactly who you are and that God loves you fully knowing all of that. And, it doesn't even stop there, the creator of the Universe, our Redeemer and Saviour allows us the privelege to be a part of what He is doing in the lives of so many. Unbelievable!

Leaving on a Jet plane

All morning I have been singing, "Leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I will be back again." Well, let me be honest, singing and even dancing a little. You can't help but tap your feet and move your head back and forth again. I was always a bit disappointed that I never made it to the big time with my moves. During my early teen years, I practiced a lot in front of my mirror. But, I digress. The point is that I am leaving today to go back to Tanzania. Talk about emotional overload. I feel like a giant dumptruck has backed up and dumped a load on top of me and I am buried somewhere underneath and cannot get out.

At times during my short time back in the States, I have felt a little like Lucy from "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." She discovered the amazing world filled with adventure, excitement, and so many new and wonderful people and things to experience. When she got back, it was like she had never left. For the people back home, it had only been a few seconds. Even though things have changed here, it still feels like I never left. It was almost like I never went to Tanzania and it had only been a few seconds. I found it so easy to pick back up where I left off with my old life. It makes the other world not seem real. However, it was real. I am excited to go back but really sad to leave. My time at home has been amazing, refreshing, encouraging, fun, and just plain good. But, way too short. I have not seen all the people that I wanted to and the ones that I did, I did not see enough. I did lots of fun things but never made it to Stone Mountain or even went for a bike ride. I feel not ready to leave. I want to stay.

Someone recently asked me what I miss about America and what do I not miss. The list was quite long for the things that I miss from mint chocolate chip ice cream to turkey sandwiches and smooth roads and good conversations with friends. However, I could not think of anything that I don't miss. I actually really love America. I love having seasons, especially the fall and not just because of football. I love the relationships I have with people here and the familiarity of life long friends and family. Goodness, I am going to miss my three little nieces. Honestly, I would prefer to stay. I am not living in Tanzania because I do not like America or because it is better. I am not leaving everyone that I love to have a great vacation. Living there is not a 24/7 emotional or spiritual high. It is life, just like here with good days and bad days. The only reason I am going to Tanzania is because I know that is where God wants me to be and I know that He is good and trustworthy. So, as I go back and feel so much uncertainty about so many things, I am simply clinging to Him.