Not as strong as I thought...

Do you ever keep on going and just hope that you will be strong enough to handle things? I want to be able to handle things. I do not want to be weak. I do want to be a burden to others. I want to just suck it up, have a good attitude, and perservere. Do you have times where you think it will be fine tomorrow, just keep going? I am not sure that that is actaully dealing with things. Oh well. I usually prefer to pretend rather than be honest. Did you know that it is hard to be far from home, to be far from everything that is familiar, far from family and friends and even my puppy dog, far from help? It is a bit harder than I expected. I grew up overseas. I have traveled a lot. I have been on lots of mission trips. I did foreign exchange programs. I have even been a missionary for a year before. Surely, I should be able to handle all of this. I knew that things will be difficult, but I am tough I can handle it. But apparently, I am not so tough... I am not sure what to say or how to ask you to pray but please pray. Right now more than anything I want to go home see my parents, curl up on the couch with my dog, go on a bike ride with my dad, hang out with my brothers and their families, and laugh with old friends who have known me for years and love me for who I am knowing all my faults. I think this is more than homesickness though. I am not sure.