I cannot get this image out of my head

I traveled to a village called Mwika today. Mwika has one of the highest concentrations of AIDS in this area. We are involved with a woman named Mama Marena. She has opened her home to orphans that are all HIV positive. They still giggle and squeal with delight and fight over candy. They find happiness in the smallest of things. They have started a small nursery school and we will be building classrooms for them. I danced and played and sung with the children. We had fun! Seeing what the live in and how they little they have has yet to stop affecting me.

However, we went to two homes to visit AIDS patients that are homebound. They were not planned so our project manager had not brought the money. It is typical to bring a gift when you go to visit someone. We brought two kilograms of sugar and soap. I decided to pay for it out of my own money. The grand total was about $6.

The first man that we met was so thankful. We talked to him for a while and worshipped and prayed with him. One of my favorite things about prayer here is that you always sing first. It is typically Father, Father. God, there in no God like you. After we sing that through couple of a times, we all pray at the same time. After this, the man wanted to touch my head and bless me. Touching the forehead of someone is a sign of respect.

The second man was the image that I will never get out of my head. He is bound to his bed. We went into his small house which is one room that is smaller than my bathroom that has very little light. He did not have enough strength to lift the sugar that I handed him. He is also suffering from another disease, maybe elephantitus but I am not sure. His feet are swollen but skin is what I cannot get out my head. If you have ever seen a sea urchin with the "tentacles" that are about a 1/4" thick and maybe an inch long. All over is feet. One foot is being eaten alive by maggots. His hands were starting to deteriorate and get sores all over them. I cannot get this image out of my head. I do not know how to get past it. I do not know how to cope. I went on the internet and tried to find out how to heal this disease. I want to fix it. Is that the answer? I have no idea. I come in with my American bravado and want to throw money at things. I know that is not the right answer. I want to visit him again. I want to love him and read to him.

Life is never going to be the same again.....

By the way, thank you for your prayers for my friend Samuel, his slowly recovering from the Malara.