The AIDS epidemic

I have to tell you that the AIDS epidemic has always seemed like this far away horrible thing. I found it so easy to live in my little American bubble. The disease, famine, and poverty did not have an impact on my life really. You hear some of the horrible stories and all of the children that die and you feel sad. However, I have to tell you that the death of this one child hurt more than hearing about the thousands of others. It isn't this epidemic that only affects Africa anymore to me. It is the disease that caused this one, precious boy to suffer and lose his life. It isn't something that is out there, far away, that you read about in a newspaper. It is now about a boy that I played with, laughed with, ate with, and who I cried for.

The funeral was on Monday afternoon. I had meetings that morning and things to do and I just did them. I thought in the back of my mind that I am okay because I knew that he had AIDS and that this was inevitable. I had already come to terms with the fact that he was not going to get better. I know that he is a Christian and I know that He is with Jesus now in heaven. I will be fine, of course I am sad but I have just dealt with this already. As I got closer to his home where the funeral was, I thought that my chest was going to cave in from the pressure. It hurt so bad. My heart hurt so bad. Even now, I am just hurt. I quickly learned that I had not dealt with it. I was simply in task mode. As I drove up, I was overwhelmed by the hundreds of people that had gathered for his funeral. I was not expecting that at all. The pastor gave a great message on the value of his life and the reality of his faith in Christ. It was a very powerful time as so many people heard the good news of the gift of grace that Jesus offers us all. We sat and listened to the message for about an hour and once again I thought I was okay. Then, they opened the casket for people to walk by and view. All breath left my body. I couldn't believe it. There was my friend Samweli. HE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE! How can this be! He was supposed to live. He was supposed to live a normal life. He was supposed to get better. This doesn't make any sense. I felt so overwhelmed. I was sitting next to his aunt who has helped care for him. I just held her and cried. Even know, I can picture him lying in the casket in his best suit wearing this hat that he always had on. He looked peaceful. I know that he no longer has to be in pain, in fear, in despair. I know that life is better now for him. But, I loved him and selfishly, I wanted to him to stay here longer. They buried him behind the group of houses. When we walked up to his grave to lay the wreath there, I just cried. The missionary family that has been taking care of him were absolutely wonderful. I am so thankful that they have allowed me to be a part of Samweli's life with them.
The next day I went over to their house to visit and I found myself about to ask if Samweli was around. I thought I could go visit. I had forgotten that he had died. I am not really sure how to process all of this. I think I am learning about the importance of clinging to Jesus. Thank you all for your prayers.