Are you bored with life? Are you tired of the same old dull routine? Ready for a change? Ready to do things that you never thought you would or actually could and in some cases would even want to? Exhausted with watching the stock exchange go up and down and up and down. Move to Africa, or at least swing by for a bit. I can promise that life will never be the same again.
Life here is never boring. Today was full of little suprises that kept me on my toes. I'll share just two. As we were driving along in one of the villages, the car began to overheat. We were in the pastor's car that unfortunately does not have a hand break and needed to stop on a slight incline. The head teacher was a bit afraid of the steam and pressure under the hood, so the pastor needed to get out and help. Suddenly, the car began to roll backwards. I had to leap over the seat and sprawl out to reach the break with my hands and hold it there until someone came to help. However, both the head teacher and I were laughing so hard it is a wonder that we did not crash into a house.
Upon returning to the office, I found that the mechanic had fixed the problem in our car, basically a smell that was just plain awful. Since we had chased the rats out of the house and killed several of their friends, they decided to attach our car. One of them had crawled up into our car and die just to spite us. Our dashboard had to be removed in order to get the poor little guy out.
But, alas, I am now home safe and sound enjoying the fact that my battery lasts a long time since the power just went out and thrilled to feel clean after spending a LONG time scrubbing my feet.
Trust me, you do not want to miss out on life here! Sell your stocks, cash in your IRAs and come on over. :)
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Chariots of Fire, Goats, and Maize
This past weekend, I had one of those sweet God moments that come out of nowhere, when you least expect it. Isn't amazing how you can be doing something seemingly insignificant and feel the pleasure of God. Another one of my favorite movies is "Chariots of Fire." Eric Liddle, an Olympic runner and missionary, does not run to earn God's love or to earn the respect of others. He runs simply because when he does, he feels God's pleasure. Those feelings are such a blessing, to have times where we feel the tender love of our God.
So, this past weekend, there I was traveling in my "chariot," a very old Toyota Hilux that might have had shocks at one point, but those are long gone. We were traveling to visit the homes of some of the widows from the ministry. I was sitting on a giant bag of maize, holding on, desperately hoping that the goats would not pee on me or do even worse. =) I made it unscathed but unfortunately my friend did not. While traveling to their homes through an area with lots of open fields and farms with Mt. Kilimanjaro ahead of me and Mt. Meru behind me, a nice breeze blew and the sun warmed us. Perfect weather. The head teacher and I sat in the back together talking and sharing about the ministry and life. Lots of children ran out to get a chance to see the strange mzungu riding on the back of the truck through bushes way off the "main" road. That was my moment. It had been such a good day of spending time with children, teachers, the team, and others. And, here I was in the middle of nowhere with the opportunity to spend more time with these unbelievable women in their homes. Riding on the back of the truck, I felt the pleasure of God. It was good. I will never compete in the Olympics, never be a hero, never win a medal, but God has still given me so many moments and opportunities to simply be and enjoy His pleasure. Isn't that great....
So, this past weekend, there I was traveling in my "chariot," a very old Toyota Hilux that might have had shocks at one point, but those are long gone. We were traveling to visit the homes of some of the widows from the ministry. I was sitting on a giant bag of maize, holding on, desperately hoping that the goats would not pee on me or do even worse. =) I made it unscathed but unfortunately my friend did not. While traveling to their homes through an area with lots of open fields and farms with Mt. Kilimanjaro ahead of me and Mt. Meru behind me, a nice breeze blew and the sun warmed us. Perfect weather. The head teacher and I sat in the back together talking and sharing about the ministry and life. Lots of children ran out to get a chance to see the strange mzungu riding on the back of the truck through bushes way off the "main" road. That was my moment. It had been such a good day of spending time with children, teachers, the team, and others. And, here I was in the middle of nowhere with the opportunity to spend more time with these unbelievable women in their homes. Riding on the back of the truck, I felt the pleasure of God. It was good. I will never compete in the Olympics, never be a hero, never win a medal, but God has still given me so many moments and opportunities to simply be and enjoy His pleasure. Isn't that great....
Friday, October 24, 2008
You mess with me, you mess with my WHOLE family
Doesn't it feel good when you know you have people in your corner? People that will be there for you when times are tough, and when you need people to back you up, to fight for you. Isn't there something so comforting when people have your back and know that they will defend you and help you?
Today was kind of a crazy day. One of those days where you just can't believe things are happening the way they are. You start your day with one plan and that is not quite the way things work out. We are in the process of moving out of our old home and into someone else's place while they are back in Australia. Needless to say, it has been a long process. When my roommate went back to the house to get something today, she was forbidden from entering. Even though some of our most valuable items were still in the house, we were not allowed to take them. After calling our landlord, she discovered that indeed tell the guard to not allow us in for various reasons. I think in retrospect some of them were cultural misunderstandings some were just insane.
Considering some of the issues, we decided to not go back alone but ask someone from our office to go. After he heard our situation, he was more than willing to help us. One person quickly grew to four. Our first friend had told others and they were all upset that were being treated poorly. We actually only took four because that was all the room there was in the car. Others wanted to come as well. As we were driving, they were all joking about who was the strongest and who would take who. When we arrived, we went to go and talk to our landlord with all of them standing behind me ready to jump in at a moments notice.
Once we were finally allowed into the house, the landlord began to explain some things. All of them came to our defense and were explaining things. They were not going to allow us to be treated poorly. Even though I felt hurt because of the situation, I felt encouraged because of my "brothers". I don't think I really expected to ever find that here, or that people really felt that way about us. I was so grateful.
Now that all that happened, it made me realize how much God has blessed me with people like that in my life. Over the past year and half while here, there have been countless people that have gone to bat for me, that have fought for me when I couldn't fight for myself; people that are in my corner. People have constantly prayed, encouraged, worked on my behalf, and done so much more.
Even though the day did not turn out at all like I expected, it has been a day where I have been overwhelmed by seeing the hand of God in my life at all times. It has been a day where I have been able to see so much of what God is doing. I am so thankful for all the people that God has put in my life. I have done nothing to deserve any of it. Isn't God good!
Today was kind of a crazy day. One of those days where you just can't believe things are happening the way they are. You start your day with one plan and that is not quite the way things work out. We are in the process of moving out of our old home and into someone else's place while they are back in Australia. Needless to say, it has been a long process. When my roommate went back to the house to get something today, she was forbidden from entering. Even though some of our most valuable items were still in the house, we were not allowed to take them. After calling our landlord, she discovered that indeed tell the guard to not allow us in for various reasons. I think in retrospect some of them were cultural misunderstandings some were just insane.
Considering some of the issues, we decided to not go back alone but ask someone from our office to go. After he heard our situation, he was more than willing to help us. One person quickly grew to four. Our first friend had told others and they were all upset that were being treated poorly. We actually only took four because that was all the room there was in the car. Others wanted to come as well. As we were driving, they were all joking about who was the strongest and who would take who. When we arrived, we went to go and talk to our landlord with all of them standing behind me ready to jump in at a moments notice.
Once we were finally allowed into the house, the landlord began to explain some things. All of them came to our defense and were explaining things. They were not going to allow us to be treated poorly. Even though I felt hurt because of the situation, I felt encouraged because of my "brothers". I don't think I really expected to ever find that here, or that people really felt that way about us. I was so grateful.
Now that all that happened, it made me realize how much God has blessed me with people like that in my life. Over the past year and half while here, there have been countless people that have gone to bat for me, that have fought for me when I couldn't fight for myself; people that are in my corner. People have constantly prayed, encouraged, worked on my behalf, and done so much more.
Even though the day did not turn out at all like I expected, it has been a day where I have been overwhelmed by seeing the hand of God in my life at all times. It has been a day where I have been able to see so much of what God is doing. I am so thankful for all the people that God has put in my life. I have done nothing to deserve any of it. Isn't God good!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Overwhelmed
To say that I am overwhelmed seems like a gross understatement. I am not sure where to start and I feel all over the place. I am in language school right now for a two week course. I have learned so much and feel like I am making a lot of progress which is a huge blessing. Even though I feel like I had already learned a lot, I felt like I was stuck and could not get to the next level of communication. The course here has been wonderful. On top of the language learning, I am surrounded by people that are also involved in community development. I feel like I have arrived to the promise land. In addition, the college is a college for development and there is a plethora of resources. I feel like I just want to stay and read and learn and discuss and process through all the issues that we are dealing with. But, the more I learn, the more I feel like we are far away from where we want to be and the more I realize how much work it will take to get there.
At times, I feel afraid that it is impossible, too much has already happened.I feel completely incapable. I have never been more sure that I am not able to do the work in front me. I forget that God is sovereign. I forget that even though all of this is new to me, it is not new to God. He knows the best way to create sustainable development. He knows the best way to empower the poor and encourage them. He knows the way to help a community be transformed. I forget that many people have been praying before they began the work we are involved with. They sought God's wisdom and guidance. And, even though it might not look like the best way in the eyes of the world, God is working. He is accomplishing His perfect will. Also, it might just not be about me and what I can do, but about God. The fact that I cannot do it ensures that it is clear that it is God doing the work and not me. It is Him that deserves the glory. Although I like to pretend that I don't need God, it might be that He is trying to teach me to depend on Him. I try to do things on my own, in my own strength. I am not sure how to depend on God when making decisions. What does it look like to love God with all your soul, mind, and strength when trying to figure out village government and the best way forward? How do I rest in God when the amount of work seems neverending? How do I enjoy Him when the need of others seems overwhelming?
At times, I feel afraid that it is impossible, too much has already happened.I feel completely incapable. I have never been more sure that I am not able to do the work in front me. I forget that God is sovereign. I forget that even though all of this is new to me, it is not new to God. He knows the best way to create sustainable development. He knows the best way to empower the poor and encourage them. He knows the way to help a community be transformed. I forget that many people have been praying before they began the work we are involved with. They sought God's wisdom and guidance. And, even though it might not look like the best way in the eyes of the world, God is working. He is accomplishing His perfect will. Also, it might just not be about me and what I can do, but about God. The fact that I cannot do it ensures that it is clear that it is God doing the work and not me. It is Him that deserves the glory. Although I like to pretend that I don't need God, it might be that He is trying to teach me to depend on Him. I try to do things on my own, in my own strength. I am not sure how to depend on God when making decisions. What does it look like to love God with all your soul, mind, and strength when trying to figure out village government and the best way forward? How do I rest in God when the amount of work seems neverending? How do I enjoy Him when the need of others seems overwhelming?
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
A priest, rabbi, and a missionary walk into a bar
.... Okay, not really, but I do have a funny joke that I thought I would share. Please keep in mind that this is not an original. But, I think very eloquently captures the essence of daily life here in Tanzania.
Before we begin, some information to help understand. Daladalas are minibuses that dominate the roads here in Tanzana. Even though they have small seats for about twelve people, itis quite common to see at least 20, if not a whole lot more crammed into the tiny space that the daladala provides. When getting on, you just kind of push your way through. Seeing people hanging outside because it is so full is even common. Daladala drivers race to get to the next stop to get the anxious passengers. Once, when I was about to get on a daladala, the conductor fought with another conductor because he thought that he had stolen me for his daladala. Even when you do not have the pleasure of enjoying a ride in the daladala, you get to interact with them as they weave in and out of traffic. They are on a mission to get to the next stop and nothing will get in their way. They cut you off, knock mirrors of the side of your car, cut each other off, and just in general do whatever they want.
Okay, hopefully that is clear and will help make the joke as funny as possible. Ready! Don't forget, fake laughter and polite chuckles work on me.
One day a priest dies and goes up to heaven. He is forced to wait at the pearly gates while St. Peter reviews his record. Since it is taking quite a long time, the priest feels impatient and slightly indignant. He was a priest. He gave his life for God and sacrficed a lot. It just does not make sense. The priest mentions all of this to St. Peter who simply shrugs his shoulder and asks for a little more time.
As the priest is waiting, a daladala driver arrives. Much to his dismay and shock, the daladala driver is able to enter right away without any problems. After the priest picks his jaw up off the ground, he goes up to St. Peter. At first, he is only to point and stammer because of the shock. St. Peter looks at the priest with patience while he pulls himself together. The priest is confused. He says, "I am a priest. He is a daladala driver. Do you know daladala drivers? Do you know all the crazy things they do and the insane ways they driver?" Peter looks at his record and seems to have found the explanation for what has gone on. He replies, "Well, here is the situation. It has to do with your work. Whenever you did your work, the people slept. Whenever he did his work, the people prayed."
Get it! Ha ha! knee slapper! =)
With a sense of humor like mine, I will completely understand if you decided to never read my blog again and go on to find one with real humor at least substance. =)
Before we begin, some information to help understand. Daladalas are minibuses that dominate the roads here in Tanzana. Even though they have small seats for about twelve people, itis quite common to see at least 20, if not a whole lot more crammed into the tiny space that the daladala provides. When getting on, you just kind of push your way through. Seeing people hanging outside because it is so full is even common. Daladala drivers race to get to the next stop to get the anxious passengers. Once, when I was about to get on a daladala, the conductor fought with another conductor because he thought that he had stolen me for his daladala. Even when you do not have the pleasure of enjoying a ride in the daladala, you get to interact with them as they weave in and out of traffic. They are on a mission to get to the next stop and nothing will get in their way. They cut you off, knock mirrors of the side of your car, cut each other off, and just in general do whatever they want.
Okay, hopefully that is clear and will help make the joke as funny as possible. Ready! Don't forget, fake laughter and polite chuckles work on me.
One day a priest dies and goes up to heaven. He is forced to wait at the pearly gates while St. Peter reviews his record. Since it is taking quite a long time, the priest feels impatient and slightly indignant. He was a priest. He gave his life for God and sacrficed a lot. It just does not make sense. The priest mentions all of this to St. Peter who simply shrugs his shoulder and asks for a little more time.
As the priest is waiting, a daladala driver arrives. Much to his dismay and shock, the daladala driver is able to enter right away without any problems. After the priest picks his jaw up off the ground, he goes up to St. Peter. At first, he is only to point and stammer because of the shock. St. Peter looks at the priest with patience while he pulls himself together. The priest is confused. He says, "I am a priest. He is a daladala driver. Do you know daladala drivers? Do you know all the crazy things they do and the insane ways they driver?" Peter looks at his record and seems to have found the explanation for what has gone on. He replies, "Well, here is the situation. It has to do with your work. Whenever you did your work, the people slept. Whenever he did his work, the people prayed."
Get it! Ha ha! knee slapper! =)
With a sense of humor like mine, I will completely understand if you decided to never read my blog again and go on to find one with real humor at least substance. =)
Friday, September 26, 2008
I did it
So, I did it. I made the first step. Isn't amazing how little things can make a huge difference? The first thing I did was go to a local bookstore to find children's story books in Swahili. What I didn't realize is how hard of a task that would be, most of the books are in English. (If even of you out there like to write children's books, there is a great market for you here in Tanzania!) I managed to find a couple. The next stop is a local ministry called Mkombozi or Redeemer. For several years, this ministry has worked with street children. I decided to stop by and find out about their ministry, what they do, and get recommendations for how best to respond. In just a short amount of time, I learned so much and got some practical tips. Plus, I was able to tell them about two little boys that I know that are living on the streets that they will follow up with. Because they seemed to know a lot about the Arusha situation, I asked if they knew of anyone that works with adults that are on the streets. Even though they did not know of anyone right away, they said they would look into it and get back to me.
From all of that, one of the biggest changes is how I feel. I feel less intimidated and useless. I am more ready to engage the people that I see. I so often feel like I am in the middle of something and I have some place to go when I see people on the street begging, so I do not stop to engage them in conversation and get to know them. Selfish! Now, instead of avoiding places I want to go to them to start building relationships. I am not sure what I can do, but I know I can love them.
To finish the day yesterday, I decided to go out of my gate and interact with some of the children. Typically, when we pull in, there are several children hanging around that beg for money, candy, or a gift. Since I don't want to encourage begging, I typically ignore them and go inside my big gate. Today, I came out of my big gate. Once I got outside my gate, I looked around but did not see any children. So, I just went to the pile of concrete blocks to sit and wait. Less than a minute later a group of girls came running because they saw the mzungu. Sure enough, the first words out of their mouths were give us candy, give us money. I said that I brought a book. They stared at me strangely but then shrugged their shoulders and said okay, we will take the book. I smiled and said, I did not come to give them the book but to read with them. They seemed a bit shocked. I am not sure, but the look on their face seemed to say, you are one crazy white lady. So, we sat down and started to read. I fumbled through the swahili which got lots of laughs. Eventually, the older two girls sat next to me and helped me read. Throughout the story, we laughed at the silliness of the story.
After we finished reading the story, we sat and visited some more. Honestly, some times I feel akward. I don't know what to say or what to do which I think is why sometimes I avoid situations. A couple of little boys came up and joined us and wanted to know what we were doing. At first, they both were very shy but eventually relaxed. Since we were in a concrete yard, naturally a contest to see who could the rocks the furtherst quickly ensued. The children were doubled over with laughter when they would see me stretch, warm up, wind up, and look fierce and then throw the rock two feet or drop behind me. Absolutely hilarious. We just had fun together hanging out.
Now, I am looking forward to going home in the hopes of seeing the kids again and playing!
From all of that, one of the biggest changes is how I feel. I feel less intimidated and useless. I am more ready to engage the people that I see. I so often feel like I am in the middle of something and I have some place to go when I see people on the street begging, so I do not stop to engage them in conversation and get to know them. Selfish! Now, instead of avoiding places I want to go to them to start building relationships. I am not sure what I can do, but I know I can love them.
To finish the day yesterday, I decided to go out of my gate and interact with some of the children. Typically, when we pull in, there are several children hanging around that beg for money, candy, or a gift. Since I don't want to encourage begging, I typically ignore them and go inside my big gate. Today, I came out of my big gate. Once I got outside my gate, I looked around but did not see any children. So, I just went to the pile of concrete blocks to sit and wait. Less than a minute later a group of girls came running because they saw the mzungu. Sure enough, the first words out of their mouths were give us candy, give us money. I said that I brought a book. They stared at me strangely but then shrugged their shoulders and said okay, we will take the book. I smiled and said, I did not come to give them the book but to read with them. They seemed a bit shocked. I am not sure, but the look on their face seemed to say, you are one crazy white lady. So, we sat down and started to read. I fumbled through the swahili which got lots of laughs. Eventually, the older two girls sat next to me and helped me read. Throughout the story, we laughed at the silliness of the story.
After we finished reading the story, we sat and visited some more. Honestly, some times I feel akward. I don't know what to say or what to do which I think is why sometimes I avoid situations. A couple of little boys came up and joined us and wanted to know what we were doing. At first, they both were very shy but eventually relaxed. Since we were in a concrete yard, naturally a contest to see who could the rocks the furtherst quickly ensued. The children were doubled over with laughter when they would see me stretch, warm up, wind up, and look fierce and then throw the rock two feet or drop behind me. Absolutely hilarious. We just had fun together hanging out.
Now, I am looking forward to going home in the hopes of seeing the kids again and playing!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
A way forward
Seeing the depth of your sin, is never easy but it is good because then things can be dealt with. Of course, ultimately, Christ is my savior and even if I am still a complete and total mess until the end of my days, I am going to heaven and He can finish the job up there. =) Let's be honest, the chances are pretty good that I will still be a mess. However, I need to learn to deal with some things better and find a way forward.
The past couple of weeks I have felt incredibly tired all the time and very emotional. I have not felt like myself. I checked on the internet and I don't think that there is an amoeba or parasite that causes people to be more emotional, oh well. While I was at the home of a long term missionary couple, I shared how I was feeling. The immediate response by the wife was it sounds like culture shock. Never in a million years would I have thought that it had anything to do with culture shock. I have lived for over a year now. I have dealt with the strange and different things. I should be fine. Apparently, not so much. We talked through a lot of things and it was really good.
Because I have a tendency to put things in a box and have a plan for things, I felt like I could not deal with the poverty around me. I have my ministry and it is out in the villages. Somewhere I got it in my head, that ministry means having a plan, working with others, having meetings, etc. etc. Once again, I was wrong. (I am starting to get used to that) Ministry is just loving the people that God has put in your life, no matter who they are. Ministry is loving the people around me, my neighbors, the street kids, the kids that come up to me every day as I come home begging for money.
Now I just have to figure out how to do this; how to change how I live my life. I don't want to add extra work, but I have realized not doing anything about the people around me is hurting me emotionally and spiritually. I am often afraid of rejection and this can prevent me from even starting something and then I just make up excuses that sound wise but are full of bologna. I have lots of ideas running around in my head like tutoring some of the children, reading stories to them, inviting them over and just playing with them. When I come home, I don't leave again. I don't go and visit my neighbors. I make myself seperate. I want to start visiting people more to build better relationships. There is a ministry that works with street kids, I want to go and visit them and ask for help in knowing the best way to respond to the kids that I see. I would like to have a discipleship group of young TZ girls. I am not sure how to do any of this or how to make any of this happen, but I know that if this is developed more that I will be better, my work will be better.
When I arrived, I got this one track mind and have been afraid to deviate. Now, I do have a tendency to do too much, so I do want to pray first rather than running full steam ahead first. Would you pray with me? Would you pray that God would guide me in all of this and provide opportunities? Let's see what God does....
The past couple of weeks I have felt incredibly tired all the time and very emotional. I have not felt like myself. I checked on the internet and I don't think that there is an amoeba or parasite that causes people to be more emotional, oh well. While I was at the home of a long term missionary couple, I shared how I was feeling. The immediate response by the wife was it sounds like culture shock. Never in a million years would I have thought that it had anything to do with culture shock. I have lived for over a year now. I have dealt with the strange and different things. I should be fine. Apparently, not so much. We talked through a lot of things and it was really good.
Because I have a tendency to put things in a box and have a plan for things, I felt like I could not deal with the poverty around me. I have my ministry and it is out in the villages. Somewhere I got it in my head, that ministry means having a plan, working with others, having meetings, etc. etc. Once again, I was wrong. (I am starting to get used to that) Ministry is just loving the people that God has put in your life, no matter who they are. Ministry is loving the people around me, my neighbors, the street kids, the kids that come up to me every day as I come home begging for money.
Now I just have to figure out how to do this; how to change how I live my life. I don't want to add extra work, but I have realized not doing anything about the people around me is hurting me emotionally and spiritually. I am often afraid of rejection and this can prevent me from even starting something and then I just make up excuses that sound wise but are full of bologna. I have lots of ideas running around in my head like tutoring some of the children, reading stories to them, inviting them over and just playing with them. When I come home, I don't leave again. I don't go and visit my neighbors. I make myself seperate. I want to start visiting people more to build better relationships. There is a ministry that works with street kids, I want to go and visit them and ask for help in knowing the best way to respond to the kids that I see. I would like to have a discipleship group of young TZ girls. I am not sure how to do any of this or how to make any of this happen, but I know that if this is developed more that I will be better, my work will be better.
When I arrived, I got this one track mind and have been afraid to deviate. Now, I do have a tendency to do too much, so I do want to pray first rather than running full steam ahead first. Would you pray with me? Would you pray that God would guide me in all of this and provide opportunities? Let's see what God does....
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