Once a troublemaker, always a troublemaker

For those of you that know me, I am sure it comes as a complete shock that I was ever a trouble maker.  I am so clearly a person that goes with the flow and always does what she is told. This would be one of those moments where my mother would be screaming for everyone to get out of dodge because lightning is about to strike and where my dad would be doubled over with laughter. They know the real story. I have been trouble since the day I was born, always causing mischief. As I have gotten older, I have learned to disguise it better, or at least I think I have. 

I am an adult now, and am supposed to be mature and responsible, but not really sure that I have achieved that just yet. Unfortunately, I tend to have a lot of fun getting into trouble. Somehow, even when I am not trying, I seem to get into trouble. I am pretty sure it is a hereditary disease, so technically not my fault. =) I blame my dad completely. 

So, there we were in one of the villages, WAY out in the bush. There are some frequent visitors from one of our partnering church in the states that have come to observe and serve at the school. One of the classes we visited was the kindergarten. We actually have two levels, K1 and K2. Since some of the teachers were in training for a couple of days, both classes were together, making a class of sixty 5 and 6 year old, incorrigible students. Also, the classrooms that were due to be finished before the beginning of the year are still not done. Hence, all of the students are jumbled together in the dining hall. Bottom line, the situation was already a little chaotic before I even got there. 

It started fine, with no trouble in sight. I was responsible and adult like. After introducing our visitors and singing a few songs with the class, I went over the the side of the room to sit down to allow one of the women to lead the children in some songs and talk with them a little. During the down time in between songs, I began a simple, innocent, little game of "peek-a-boo".  As many of you know, the giggles and squeals of delight of children are slightly addictive. If you don't know about this, tickle a child and see their laughter and then you are hooked forever. I think the disease might intensify slightly here in Tanzania. So, needless to say, I continued with the game for a while, expanding on the ways in which to hide and the silly faces that I would show. The more laughter I got, the crazier the actions and the faces.  (Like I said, total addict). 

Also, I tend to get caught up in my own little world at times and not realize what is going on around me. So, suddenly, I realized that the few students that I began playing with had quickly grown in the whole class of sixty. Every eye was on me, including the eyes of the teachers and our visitors. Oops! It seems that once again, I had gotten a tiny bit carried away. I had distracted two whole classes of students from the task at hand.  Once a trouble maker, always a trouble maker. But I couldn't help myself, those kids are just way too cute!!!! If you don't believe me, you should come here and see for yourself. Actually, even if you do believe, you should still come and see for yourself. =) 

I LOVE Africa

The other day I was at a friend's home sitting outside looking out at the vast African savannah with beautiful acacia trees (the trees with a flat top) and gorgeous Mt. Meru as the background and I couldn't help but think that I could live here for the rest of my life. Tanzania is unbelievably gorgeous and I love the people.  Some of the things that drive me crazy are what I love most (not all of them). My feet are never clean; I never know what to expect when I get in my car, where will I be rerouted, will I be run over by the military, will I be cut off by a daladala, etc. Life here is never boring. However, I have to say that there have been times that I have not necessarily wanted to sing for joy, definitely rough times. 

Recently, I have started to think that adapting to a new culture is a bit like a marriage. Granted, I have never been married so I could be making all of this up; this is based on the rumors I have heard over the years.  In the eloquent words of one of my Tanzanian friends, "Marriage is not always Alleluia." But, let me explain. When people come over for two weeks(me included), they get completely enamored and starry eyed with Africa. The dust, dirt, slow pace, everything is wonderful and different. None of the things that happen are really a problem, it is just part of Africa's charm. You fall in love with Africa.  Then, you move here. (For me, I knew God called me in addition to the charm of Africa).  When you get here (which I think is a bit like marrying or a bit time commitment), you still love it. You think of life in Africa with big, dreamy eyes, you are in the honeymoon stage. But, as I have heard with marriages, the honeymoon ends. Those quirks that were adorable are now annoying and make you want to scream. Same thing goes for the culture. When you just visit, the slow pace is no problem, but when you need to actually accomplish work with deadlines and finances and overseas partners, the romance of the slow pace vanishes pretty quickly. Many of my friends have told me that after the honeymoon period they have looked at their spouse and thought, "who is this person?"; "who did I marry?" "was I out of my mind?". I can relate to all of those feelings.  I have definitely had thoughts of what nutso moves to Africa, this is not what I expected, this is not what I thought, what happened! 

Now, I might be wrong but once again, the word on the street is that marriage is not easy and you have to work at it. You have to be willing to put in the time and really make an effort. Same is true here. I have to work at understanding the culture and trying to compromise and adapt. Learning the language has been rough. It takes work.  But, then as you go deeper in your marriage, you realize that you love that person more than you ever though possible and it is a lot deeper than the initial infatuation, more substantial, longer lasting. Still work, but so worth it. That is where I am at now. It still takes work. I still get frustrated at times, but I love Tanzania. It is such a sweet and wonderful blessing to have the opportunity to be here. I am so thankful. 

Murphy's Law, Raffles, and Me

I know that many of you out there live a somewhat charmed life, if you do not then we should hang out. Murphy's law could probably be changed to Meagan's law. Part of the problem is that I am a total klutz. I used to blame this on the fact that I grew too fast and it took a while for my coordination to catch up. However, at thirty two, I might not be able to use that excuse anymore. To top all that off, I am not the most observant. I miss things that are right in front of me. I can be forgetful as well. Bottom line, I probably bring some of the Murphy's law on myself. 

Don't you just love hanging out with those people that things always work out for? You know those people that just happened to get bumped up to first class or get a free car because of some weird glitch in the system? My uncle is one of those people. Plus, he can talk his way into or out of (depending on the situation) anything. I have no idea how he does it, but he does. Last time I traveled with him, I got to go through the first class line, not sure how but he did it. 

All of this is why, I know for a fact when crazy things happen, God was in the middle of it all.  So, I think you all know a whole bunch of my stuff got stolen. But, what you might not know is that crazy, unbelievable, amazing friends of mine decided to do a raffle to help raise the money to cover the cost of what was stolen. Who does that? Who puts in that kind of work for others? Not only did it help raise money for my stuff but also towards at least half of the unplanned trip back to the states which was a bit expensive.  Insane, overwhelming! I am not done. On a whim, I decided to enter a raffle a couple of months ago while at a Christmas fair. I did not even know what the prizes were. (That is the whole not aware thing) =) Being able to exercise is very important to me, especially with the traveling I do and the stress, etc. (Plus, I am hoping to climb Kilimanjaro). However, going for a run is not so easy. Sometimes I just simply gawked at, other times I am run off the road, and the others guys decide that they want to run with me and convince me to marry them. All in all, not the best experience.  I know that this seems like a little thing, but it has been a big deal for me.  There are two gyms in town, but they are WAY out of my price range.  So, I thought all hope was lost. But, let's not forget who our God is and of course his crazy method of showing His love for me, raffles. =) That's right, while I was back in the states, they had the drawing for the raffle and I won a year's membership at one of the gyms. Can you believe it?! Insane! Isn't God good?

I can't wait to see what is next. Please remind of all of this when I doubt God's goodness and faithfulness. 

It's going to be okay

I am back home in Tanzania! Yeah! It feels so good to be back here again. Lots of weird mixed emotions all that same time. Now that I am here, I never want to leave again. I just want to stay. However, I loved being back home in the states with my friends and family and didn't want to leave there. Bottom line, I think I am much better at staying than I am at leaving. Aren't we all though? 

Since the robbery, God has been doing a lot of healing in my heart and growing me in a lot of ways. Two nights before I left, I had my first nightmare from the robbery.  God has been so gracious that I have not had any before and have not felt any anxiousness about returning.  The reality is that I could get robbed again and it could be worse. I will do what I can to prevent things and be safe but there is never any guarantee. There are too many things that I can't control.  But, that is okay. I think through all of this and other things as well, I have learned that I am going to be okay. That doesn't mean that I won't get hurt physically or emotionally. It doesn't mean that everything will always work out perfectly. I know that. But, God will always be there. He will get me through whatever comes my way.  Life will be hard at times but God is who He says He is and I will be okay.  

In my nightmare, I was back here with my roommate Julia.  It was late at night and I was sleeping but awake. We heard a tapping on the window and were not sure who it was and if we should answer the door. Some of the details are a little hazy, but I am pretty sure she was on the phone. Suddenly, we realized that the men who robbed us were back. It was them tapping on the window. They were trying to get in the house. In my dream, my body was asleep but my mind was awake and I kept on telling my body to wake up. I couldn't move my body, but I knew we needed to call for help. I had an overwhelming sense of helplessness. Eventually, I woke up from my nightmare. 

As I laid in bed, I just prayed. That was all I could do. And, then I started praying for others. I don't know what life holds for me, but I know that God uses all things for good and for His glory. There is such a peace that comes from that and I am so thankful. I know that no matter what, I will be okay. 

You know you're NOT in Africa if.....

As many of you know, there have been many moments during my time in Tanzania where I have had to laugh because it is just one of those "only in Africa" moments. Things like seeing a man ride his bike with a cow head on the back or two dozen chickens in a cart on the side of the road. However, as I am enjoying my time here in the states, I can't help but have moments that remind me, I am not in Africa. Since I have attempted a little humor before, I thought I would try again. So here goes.....

You know you're not in Africa if every child you see does not scream with delight and wave enthusiastically whenever you walk by.

You know you're not in Africa if the only sign of wild life is the crazy drivers on I285 during rush hour.

You know you're not in Africa if every road is a smooth road. (I will never take those for granted again).

You know you're not in Africa if you have to precise with your scheduling of visits with friends and can't just stop by tea that lasts all day.

You know you're not in Africa if there is no dancing at church and people stare at you funny if you raise your hands to worship.

You know you're not in Africa if people just flippantly use ziploc bags like they are cheap and easy to get. (Yet one more thing that I will not take for granted again.)

You know you're not in Africa if you have eaten rice today. =) (If you have don't worry, it does not mean that you are going to magically transported there.)

You know you're not in Africa if you blink and you miss the sunset instead of getting to watch unbelievably beauty last for seemingly forever.

You know you're not in Africa if you can go to one place to do all of your grocery shopping.

There are so many other things that show the distinct difference in the way of life. My time in Tanzania has made me appreciate so many things more here in the states. However, it has also showed how much we miss out on.

Home for the Holidays

To say that it is good to be home for the holidays, is a gross understatement.  There is nothing like mom's home cooked food and playing games with my dad. Getting to sit by the fire and drink hot cocoa is one of my absolute favorite things in the world. I am very happy to be home.  However, the weird thing is that this does not completely feel like home anymore.  I just don't think that you get to go to Tanzania and come back the same.  Seeing children want nothing more than to hold your hand and giggle with delight is such a treasure. It is unbelievable to be a part of something bigger than yourself; it puts things in perspective. I have been so blessed to have the opportunity to go to Africa. God is changing lives (mostly mine, probably). God is a God of hope and purpose and peace and love. When you have nothing else, you see it much more clearly. I have learned so much from my African brothers and sisters. I love them. I miss them. 

As I process through the robbery and everything, God is so gracious and good. I know that everything is going to be okay. I know that I am going to get through all of this. My faith in God is stronger now because of all of this. How could it not be after all that I have seen. God really is who He claims to be.  God's tender mercy and love are real, it is not just some fairy tale that we tell to make ourselves feel better. I am so happy to be at home with my friends and family but I am happy that I will be going back to Tanzania to be with my other friends and family again as well. 

Back in the Saddle again

I have learned that life goes on, and that it is important to take things one day at a time. I have continued to be amazed at the overwhelming amount of people that are praying for me. The first week after the robbery, I was scheduled to teach at the teachers college and help teach at a seminar for one of the schools with around 45 teachers.  One day,  I was sharing about how to treat and teach children differently in the light of the fact that they are created by God. We talked about how being a Christian affects how we teach the material and how we relate and care for the children. It was an exciting time with them. Of course, the poor teachers had to listen to most of the examples be about math. I still don't really understand why everyone does not love math. There is nothing like a really challenging math problem and getting right. What a feeling of accomplishment, yeah, I did it! Furthermore, our understanding of math helps to see more of God's character. Before you call a mental health professional for me, let me explain! I am a total math nerd, but it really is unbelievable.  The more we understand about infinity and that we can never stop counting, the more we can start to have a glimpse of who God is. He is infinite, never ending. We cannot imagine how big God is.  He can hold the entire universe in the palm of His hand. Then, think of the infinitesimal, things that are microscopic that cannot be seen with the naked eye. God is a God of precision and accuracy. He created order and the laws of the universe.  God knows the hairs on our head. Nothing is too small for Him because He is a tender and loving God. Isn't that amazing! I would keep on going but I fear that I might put many of you to sleep. =)

The point is that I love the opportunity to open up children's minds to who God is and help create a love for learning.  We need to teach in such a way that we feed their curiousity, and their awe and wonder.  There is nothing like seeing a child's face light up with excitement as he learns something new that blows him away.  So, part of our responsibility is to help train the teachers in how to do it and even teach them importance of doing it. I really enjoyed my time at the seminar. Also, it has been good to be back at the teachers college again. I love the teachers there so much and thrilled with how much they have grown since I first met them. It will be wonderful when they start at our schools this January. 

Even though there have been so many great moments, there have been hard moments as well. I find that I am not able to handle as much. I feel less motivated.  I have a desire to withdraw at times. I have extreme reactions to things that do not usually affect me. I feel all over the place emotionally.  I know this is normal and I need time so I am just trying to hang on.  I have decided to go home for the holidays, and I can hardly wait I am so excited.  However, just making that decision was incredibly difficult.  I am usually a quick decision maker that is not afraid to take risks. For the time being, that is gone.  I think it is going to take a while to get back to normal.