It's going to be okay

I am back home in Tanzania! Yeah! It feels so good to be back here again. Lots of weird mixed emotions all that same time. Now that I am here, I never want to leave again. I just want to stay. However, I loved being back home in the states with my friends and family and didn't want to leave there. Bottom line, I think I am much better at staying than I am at leaving. Aren't we all though? 

Since the robbery, God has been doing a lot of healing in my heart and growing me in a lot of ways. Two nights before I left, I had my first nightmare from the robbery.  God has been so gracious that I have not had any before and have not felt any anxiousness about returning.  The reality is that I could get robbed again and it could be worse. I will do what I can to prevent things and be safe but there is never any guarantee. There are too many things that I can't control.  But, that is okay. I think through all of this and other things as well, I have learned that I am going to be okay. That doesn't mean that I won't get hurt physically or emotionally. It doesn't mean that everything will always work out perfectly. I know that. But, God will always be there. He will get me through whatever comes my way.  Life will be hard at times but God is who He says He is and I will be okay.  

In my nightmare, I was back here with my roommate Julia.  It was late at night and I was sleeping but awake. We heard a tapping on the window and were not sure who it was and if we should answer the door. Some of the details are a little hazy, but I am pretty sure she was on the phone. Suddenly, we realized that the men who robbed us were back. It was them tapping on the window. They were trying to get in the house. In my dream, my body was asleep but my mind was awake and I kept on telling my body to wake up. I couldn't move my body, but I knew we needed to call for help. I had an overwhelming sense of helplessness. Eventually, I woke up from my nightmare. 

As I laid in bed, I just prayed. That was all I could do. And, then I started praying for others. I don't know what life holds for me, but I know that God uses all things for good and for His glory. There is such a peace that comes from that and I am so thankful. I know that no matter what, I will be okay.